Lindsey Pace, LCSW

I'm so excited to share some beautiful words with you from one of my very talented co-workers. Shanae Cartwright, M. Div, is a hospice chaplain, co-pastor along with her husband, and founder of Triple B, a business that seeks to empower women in business. I have had the privilege of working alongside Shanae for the past three years. She is always a calming presence for our staff, patients, and families and speaks with confidence and grace to encourage and equip people for whatever challenge they are facing. Enjoy! Recently, I was listening to Judy Garland's, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow." The words of the song are so vivid and stirring, full of hope. Songs have a way of evoking emotions such as love, joy and even pain. You can be full of excitement and happy one moment and then reaching for a tissue to dry your eyes in the next. With some songs you even remember where you were, what the fashion of the day was, if you experienced a difficult breakup, or what president w

My family welcomed a new Aussiedoodle puppy into our home and family last week. On the one hand it was a very planned and researched addition and on the other hand it was somewhat impulsive. Although we had been considering getting a dog for months and were talking through all the logistics of this, we had been looking to make this move in the Fall of this year. Unexpected loss in combination with a series of fortunate events prompted us to go ahead and make this leap sooner than anticipated. So, here we are with an 11 week old puppy and ALL the responsibilities and lifestyle changes that go along with that. Much like changes that occur with the addition of a child or having to assume care of an aging parent, our proverbial plate has quickly gone from full to overflowing. So often we add to our plates (whether by necessity or choice) and continue to push forward and expect the same level of engagement and performance from ourselves when in reality we need to take these opportunities t

I went to a stupid spin class at the YMCA the other day. I call it stupid for many reasons but mainly because spin does not yield to my natural athletic skills and therefore I love to hate how challenging cycling is. I much prefer a bootcamp or yoga class. Also, I can’t for the life of me figure out why people just tolerate these teeny tiny little bike seats instead of advocating for a bike with a soft and wide cushioned bench. Seriously, if you have to buy diaper butt shorts to protect your bottom on your bike doesn’t that sound like a manufacturing error??? I guess it's just me. Anyways, I’m glad I went to the class because it was a blaring object lesson on resistance. As a therapist, resistance is something that I must be highly attuned to in order to have any hope of effective therapy. Resistance is something that we could all benefit from paying closer attention to because resistance represents an area of our life that we hold dear and a pattern of protecting ourselves, for be

I have a confession. I am conflicted about returning to pre-pandemic church activities and involvement. This is a particularly off-limits confession for me because I am married to a Pastor. Yet, I feel compelled to share this because I know that there are so many people who have a similar hesitancy and reluctance to jump back into the level of church involvement they had pre-pandemic. With restrictions loosening and vaccinations increasing, we have a decision to make (actually we have many decisions to make and if you struggle with decision-fatigue please check out Emily P. Freeman with The Next Right Thing podcast).  Easter Sunday 2021 marked my first Sunday back in church in over a year. Some people might read this and wonder if I haven’t been going to church because I’ve been scared of the virus or assume our church hasn’t been having services. I did not stay home because I was afraid of the virus and our church started back with services last summer on a smaller scale and with al

At the time when I wrote this, I had just gotten off the phone with one of my dearest friends who is going through what we adoringly call a season of suck. This friend has been one of my ride-or-die partners for almost 10 years now. She is what I call my "move-a-body" friend (a term I learned from Brene Brown  one that I will happily share with you). Move-A-Body Friend:  noun "a friend who will hide your crimes and save your ass" Yep, this is the friend I would call if I murdered someone and needed to hide the body. Sorry if that was too dark for you but that's the truth of the matter (not that I would murder someone, but this is the depth of security and loyalty I find in my friend). Without this type of friendship or intimate relationship, I would manage, maybe do well at times, but I would be far worse for the wear. For this reason, it is absolutely essential that we have a friend or community in which we can share all of us- the bold and the beautiful and th

Perhaps burnout has been a companion of yours for sometime now. You've actually gotten used to it and adjusted your life according to your limited reserves. You've surrendered to the burn so to speak. You no longer beat yourself up for not having enough energy for everyday tasks. You stopped saying yes to requests and activities because you knew that you would end up cancelling or being a no show anyways. Your friend group and support system has shrunk because in their efforts to be supportive of you they began to feel helpless and their efforts futile. You started your caregiving journey with zeal and conviction and purpose and passion but all that is gone now and you are alone, tired, and resigned to the idea that this is how its always going to be. I frequently talk with people who find themselves in this place. I try and offer hope and encouragement and care and support but it often seems to evaporate into thin air. Its almost as if the person in this situation doesn't

Well meaning parents and caregivers often try to shield children from the experience of grief and loss and for good reason. Grief and loss are acutely painful experiences. However, regardless of our best efforts to shield these innocent hearts, children are intuitive and whether they can verbalize it or not they sense when something isn't right. Rather than leave their little minds to try and make sense of what's going on around them, I argue that parents and caregivers should invite children into the experience of loss and grief so that they can encounter it with a caring adult and guide at their side.  Here are a few ways I encourage parents and caregivers to approach children about issues related to grief and loss: 1- Be open and honest and keep in mind that honesty does not mean revealing every minute detail and aspect of the situation. Simply paint an overall picture of the situation and allow the child the freedom to ask question and seek more information on their own. Le