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Something's Gotta Give- Puppy Life and Overflowing Plates

My family welcomed a new Aussiedoodle puppy into our home and family last week. On the one hand it was a very planned and researched addition and on the other hand it was somewhat impulsive. Although we had been considering getting a dog for months and were talking through all the logistics of this, we had been looking to make this move in the Fall of this year. Unexpected loss in combination with a series of fortunate events prompted us to go ahead and make this leap sooner than anticipated. So, here we are with an 11 week old puppy and ALL the responsibilities and lifestyle changes that go along with that. Much like changes that occur with the addition of a child or having to assume care of an aging parent, our proverbial plate has quickly gone from full to overflowing. So often we add to our plates (whether by necessity or choice) and continue to push forward and expect the same level of engagement and performance from ourselves when in reality we need to take these opportunities to observe our plate and make calculated adjustments and exchanges to prevent overflow and burnout.

Last Tuesday was our first day of going through our new puppy routine (ahem chaos) of getting up, getting ready and getting out the door to make it to school on time. Pre-puppy this was a glorified mess and we often were 5-10 minutes late to school (I blame our tunnel traffic). With a puppy, it was all hands on deck and I was caught quite off guard as to how tedious this process was. We did manage to get out of the home somewhat presentable and thankfully no one forgot their mask, lunch or school stuff (win!) but we left the house in an unusually disordered state. We always have a baseline level of disorder in our home but this was far beyond what we are used to. 

So, we have a choice. We can continue to expect and demand from ourselves and our kids that we keep up with our home the way that we are accustomed to doing or we can make some adjustments to our expectations and responsibilities to make room for the new ones we have just taken on with this new puppy. Which do you think is going to produce a better outcome? 

Perhaps for you, it would be vital in this situation to continue to focus on the household cleanliness and that's ok. For me and my values I prioritize connection and peace with my family and a home free of dog poop and pee. This is going to take precedence over the orderliness of my home, for now. I guarantee that if my husband and I were to become rigid with the state of our home and dig our heels in and demand to keep things as orderly and clean as we are used to our family peace and connection would begin to deteriorate and be replaced with resentments and frustrations. I'm not advocating that we give up all responsibilities and household chores but I am advocating for flexibility, letting things go and reprioritizing what's important for our current situation.

I really embrace a seasons mindset personally and I advocate for this in my professional work as well. Our puppy will not require or full attention and hypervigilance forever (hopefully and with proper training) but right now he does need this from us. Our family has made a conscious decision to embrace a less orderly home (i.e. more dishes in the sink, last minute dinner ideas, more help from kids even if their help doesn't meet our standards).

Consider for yourself what has been added to your plate recently. Are you expecting yourself to take on this new role, responsibility or relationship while maintaining a high level of engagement and involvement in already established activities? How's it going so far? If its manageable, and you can't identify any hint of resentment or frustration, then carry on. If you are noticing resentment and frustration creeping in, take some time to examine your plate and decide what you can be more flexible with, let go of, or reprioritize. This is called self-care and being wise with your resources. Remember, its only for a season. Be gentle and patient with yourself, trust that you will make it through this season, and ask for help if needed.

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