Church Burnout

I have a confession. I am conflicted about returning to pre-pandemic church activities and involvement. This is a particularly off-limits confession for me because I am married to a Pastor. Yet, I feel compelled to share this because I know that there are so many people who have a similar hesitancy and reluctance to jump back into the level of church involvement they had pre-pandemic. With restrictions loosening and vaccinations increasing, we have a decision to make (actually we have many decisions to make and if you struggle with decision-fatigue please check out Emily P. Freeman with The Next Right Thing podcast). 

Easter Sunday 2021 marked my first Sunday back in church in over a year. Some people might read this and wonder if I haven’t been going to church because I’ve been scared of the virus or assume our church hasn’t been having services. I did not stay home because I was afraid of the virus and our church started back with services last summer on a smaller scale and with all COVID19 precautions in place. Other COVID19 related logistics are to blame for my lack of attendance. But here’s the thing, over the past year, despite the absence of church attendance I never once felt like it left a hole in my life. In fact, I have felt spiritually satisfied and fulfilled all year, even more so at times (important note: I am an introvert and I always prefer activities with less people involved). This is not the case for everyone and I know for a fact that people have felt the impact of not being able to attend church services and be involved regularly. This post is not for that person. This post is for the one who is wondering why they haven’t been missing “church” and for the one who is reluctant to return. 

If the above sentence resonates with you, you were likely heading toward burn out (or were already fully immersed in burnout) from church and perhaps religion when March 2020 hit. Then, over the remainder of 2020, you might’ve watched fellow church members and Christians behave, in your perspective, insensitively, silently, and judgmentally in response to the various political issues, racism, and COVID19 responses. All these things, combined with the self-imposed or other-imposed pressure to be increasingly active and involved in your local church (amidst all of our other responsibilities and pressures) have left you somewhere on the spectrum of burnout.

First of all, I want you to know:

1- You have good reasons to feel the way you do.

2- You have a choice in how active and involved you get.

3- You can approach church involvement and engagement with a season’s mindset.

4- There is no single right way to “do church.”

Let’s delve further into each of these statements:

You have very good reasons to feel the way you do! There is nothing wrong with you for feeling burnt out and reluctant to jump back into pre-pandemic church involvement. The church model that most American churches subscribe to requires extensive and ongoing involvement and engagement from its attendees and members to provide all the different programs and opportunities that churches are expected to offer. These are people who have full and busy lives outside of church- full-time jobs, kids and family responsibilities, extracurricular activities and hobbies, health and financial obligations, etc. Maybe you were as involved in church as you were out of feelings of obligation, guilt, and a search for significance and security. Following the lead of any one of these things will inevitably lead to burnout. 

You have a choice in how active and involved you get! Boundaries… you will hear this word around here ad nauseam. I believe it is the key to sustaining yourself when you are engaged in something that you truly care about and believe in. It’s typically the good things in our lives that we burnout from. Is going to church and being involved in a Christian community a good thing? I would say yes! And because of this it is so easy to get overly invested and involved in church and become burned out before you even realize what’s happening. It's ok to say no! You do not have to sign up for every activity or volunteer need that your church has. It's also ok to say yes! Find something at church that combines your natural gifts and passions and say yes to that even if no one has formally asked for you to get involved in that area. You don’t have to wait around to be assigned to something that you don’t particularly care about or want to do. Do what you enjoy and put limits around it and you lessen the chance of burning out from it. Churches need more people who are connected to their passions and purpose serving in roles that allow them to shine, not more people feeling obligated to fill whatever roles are open and available because it's part of their duty and responsibility. 

Have a season’s mindset. What I mean by this is to approach your involvement with your church as something you do seasonally instead of something you do year round forever and ever amen! Just because you sign up for a particular project or job doesn’t mean you are stuck there. Set a time limit for how long you are willing and able to serve and stick to it. Take a break and then maybe you will want to come back to it or another role when your next season of serving starts. Typically, people who are looking to get involved in church are planning for this to be a lifetime commitment. So, keep in mind, a marathon runner does not go out and sprint the first five miles of the marathon because then there will be no energy to actually finish the marathon and cross the finish line! Pace yourself.

There is no single right way to do church. Look at churches of various sizes, other denominations, cultures, and countries and you will see this to be true. This can be so freeing! Perhaps somewhere along the Christian journey you have come to believe that volunteering in the nursery or greeting at the door or hosting an elaborate women’s event is just par for the course. It’s not! None of these activities are tenants of the Christian faith. What sorts of activities are tenants? Loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and loving your neighbor as yourself. You can do this in a million different ways. Perhaps you've discovered this in your time away from church and are thriving spiritually. Be creative and have fun with this whether or not it's something you do inside of your church building or outside of your church building. Please note: I am not advocating for a departure from your local church. I am advocating for expanding our ways to contribute to the big C church (global). Its not one or the other. Its both and.     

Finally, I want to leave you with some questions for you to ask yourself and reflect on in hopes that the answers will help you find your way as you consider how to reengage with your local church. 

1- When I think about returning or reengaging with church, how does my body respond? How does my mind respond? How does my spirit respond?

2- How much is guilt, the avoidance of conflict, or people pleasing fueling my involvement with church? 

3- What are my natural gifts and interests and where can I best use these to further spiritual connection and service?

4- Where do I see God at work in my life and the lives of those around me and does my involvement in church further God’s work, maintain it or hinder it?

5- In my involvement in church am I ignoring something else or someone else (maybe even God) that I feel led to connect with?

I hope that what I have shared helps you consider how to reconnect with your local church. I pray that your reengagement with church will bring connection, joy, and peace instead of disconnection, resentment and fatigue. This is not to say that there will not be times when you feel frustrated or resentful or that you should never fill a role or responsibility because no one else will, but don’t let these be the hallmarks of your church experience. Remember, forcing yourself to serve and be involved in church when you have an overall sense of disconnection, resentment and fatigue is a recipe for burnout and even worse a recipe for a complete departure from faith. 

Take care of yourself so that you can continue to care for the ones that you love without losing yourself, without losing your connection to your local church, and most importantly, without losing your faith. 

Did you know that I created a burnout inventory? Its a tool that I think will be useful for you to get a bird's eye view of the state of your life currently and how at risk you are for burnout or how burned out you might already be. Click here to get it.